The hidden wound in my heart

     Life is a turbulent river, and in its brief flow, we encounter dams, silt, or storms. These obstacles, difficulties, trials, and pains may become hidden reefs in our hearts. However, when we bravely face them, we find that those past scars make the river of our lives flow wider, farther, and clearer.     And


    those scars remain, lurking in our hearts. We lick and caress them from time to time, simply to remind ourselves to cherish the peace that comes after the wounds have healed.

    As the saying goes, even the best meat, if eaten too much, will make you crave the taste of cabbage. So, when her boyfriend found someone new and wanted to break up with her, she wasn't surprised at all: men are susceptible to temptation, and her boyfriend was a normal person, so he couldn't resist either.

    She loved him, but what she wanted was for the person she loved to be happy.

    Before the breakup, she asked him out for dinner. After a few drinks, he became more talkative and even brought up the other girl.

    "She's so innocent; even the smallest things can make her happy. Go shopping with her, win a bar of soap in a raffle, take her to eat Beijing dumplings, buy her a 20-yuan digital watch, buy her a simple pancake… she'd be overjoyed. With her, I feel so relaxed. I can smoke until the room reeks of smoke, play mahjong all night, drink with my friends…" He was lost in his own happiness, his eyes filled with tenderness.

    But she, like all housewives, was meticulous, scrutinizing every expense, even comparing prices before buying a pair of socks. She forbade him to smoke, prohibited him from drinking, and strongly opposed his gambling.

    "With her, my heart races, and I feel energized for everything I do." He was clearly a little drunk.

    She interrupted him: "From now on, I'm no longer your haggard wife, no longer your unpaid maid. I can save the time I spend ironing your clothes and choosing your ties to dress myself up; I can save the money I spend on clothes for you to pick out some decent outfits for myself; I don't have to rack my brains searching for countless ways to cook fish, I don't have to please your stomach, I'll cook when you want to eat, and if I don't want to cook, we can go to a restaurant; I don't have to worry about you smoking and damaging your lungs or drinking and damaging your liver; I don't have to wash the sheets you vomited on, and I don't have to cry and search the streets when you're drunk and sleeping in some corner; I don't have to worry about which of your relatives in your hometown is celebrating a birthday today or getting married tomorrow, and I don't have to send living expenses to your parents every month; I don't have to take half a day's bus ride with you every year, carrying heavy bags and walking more than ten miles of mountain roads just to have a New Year's Eve dinner with your parents... Yes, breaking up is so great!" After saying this, tears streamed down her face, while he stared blankly at her.

    "Break up. Let's see how long you're smug after the divorce. You love her so much, right? She loves you so much too, right? After you get together and live together for a few years, let's see if your heart still races when you see her! What she can give you now is what I gave you years ago. Go ahead and mess around! When you've had your fun, you'll realize you're just repeating the path we walked.

    "Wasn't I ever innocent and naive? Wasn't I ever young and beautiful? I treasured the brass ring, the book, and the bookmark you gave me, and I knitted gloves for you in the dead of winter. I loved deeply too, but marriage makes a woman's role more complex. Along with love comes many responsibilities. She can no longer wholeheartedly love one person. She has to divide that love among her in-laws, her own parents, and her children. After the trials of marriage, only seven-tenths of that love remains." When another intense love assaulted her happiness, she was powerless to resist…

    Holding the mistress's hand, a warm current surged in her heart; holding her lover's hand, she experienced all the bittersweet emotions; holding her wife's hand was like touching her left hand with her right. But both hands are one's own, and her wife is ultimately her own. If she cut her own left and right arms with a knife, wouldn't she be the one in pain?

    In the end, he insisted on not separating.

    She asked: "Why?"

    He said, "When you're sober, you're not as rational or as clever as when you're drunk. You woke me up with your words." Indeed, this family was hard-won. No one understands me better than you, and no one can replace you in my heart. The happy family I worked so hard to build, I almost destroyed with my own hands. Wife, I'm sorry! It turns out the person who loves me most has always been by my side; it turns out the person who can't live without me is me.

    Love is a beautiful but fleeting flower. Two… Those who love, in the depths of their love, may think they no longer love, but no one considers where the love accumulated through countless days and nights has gone. When you think you no longer love, when you end a relationship on the grounds of not loving anymore, please remember this fact: that love has not disappeared; it is hidden in every unspoken act of care you give each other, in a glass of water offered when you are sick, in an embrace shared when you are tired, and in the unwavering belief that you will support each other through life.

    Life

    is a one-way street, a journey of stumbles and falls, a path interwoven with mud and smooth roads, countless hardships, but also endless moments of beauty and wonder. Some bury all their depression deep inside, only to become melancholic. Sharing your inner troubles with close friends or mentors can instantly lift your spirits. Open the windows of your heart, let the sunshine pour in, let your soul become a kite soaring freely, overlooking the beautiful landscapes of life.

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