Zen Mind of Three Lifetimes

    The beauty of humanity, found in the Three Lifetimes of Zen

    , constantly nourishes, warms, and moves us.

    This beauty is like a bright lamp, illuminating the sky of humanity; like a green boat, carrying us to the shores of life and success.

    Just as birds need the sky and fish need rivers, humanity cannot lack this beauty.

    Self-

    control is a form of will, a kind of training, a beauty of restraint and patience. Those who achieve great things and attain greater success are invariably those who possess the beauty of self-control. A person with strong self-control is often a strong person in life and the master of their own destiny. Through self-control, they maintain and forge a strong will to constantly resist and relinquish various tempting desires; through self-control, they can act with composure, calmness, integrity, and indifference to fame and fortune; and through self-control, they can effectively resolve unexpected and numerous disturbances, entanglements, challenges, and trials. Thus, we can gracefully traverse the river of time and calmly walk the path of life. It can be said that it is restraint that allows us to continuously reap the rewards of each season of our lives.

    Restraint is a form of self-cultivation, a state of being, and a philosophy of conduct. Throughout life, we face countless slanders, difficulties, and misunderstandings. It can be said that disputes within families, among colleagues, friends, and neighbors—between acquaintances and strangers, intentional and unintentional—are endless. Acting impulsively often not only hinders the resolution of conflicts but, more often than not, leads to a lose-lose situation. Nowadays, it is common for couples to escalate into major arguments and even divorce over trivial matters. The lack of restraint brings us far too much regret and harm. Therefore, we need to cultivate the quality of restraint and a magnanimous heart. When faced with conflicts and disputes, we must not lose our composure but maintain the necessary calm and composure. On non-principle issues, the best approach is to remain detached and smile in hindsight, rather than being petty. Restraint is not about passively accepting everything, but about maintaining a peaceful mindset. We shouldn't punish or harm ourselves for others' mistakes or ulterior motives. Nor should we fall into others' traps and verbal strife, turning ourselves into a shrewish, ill-mannered woman. Even when a strong retaliation is necessary, it should be done with a calm and collected demeanor.

    Restraint is wisdom, a mature person's self-improvement, and a self-built defense line adhering to life's principles. Knowing that desires are insatiable and cannot be fully satisfied, why do what is impossible? A wise person should acquire wealth ethically; take what is ethically right and discard what is not. In this world, what is yours is yours, and what is not yours, you will eventually have to give back. Those who cannot uphold this bottom line will ultimately suffer the consequences. Being greedy for momentary pleasure or acting rashly often leads to lifelong regret. Learn to restrain yourself, never crossing the bottom line of your principles in life. Let restraint bring your life towards balance, your interpersonal relationships towards harmony, and your life towards richness and fulfillment.

    Men become more generous and charming through restraint, and women become more beautiful and attractive.

    Restraint is a beauty of humanity and a good medicine for life. Restraining yourself will benefit us throughout our lives and make us stronger. Being tolerant     of certain things, whether we argue or not, will not have much impact on our lives or even our entire existence. In such cases, we might as well be more

    magnanimous and yield a little.     Many times, major conflicts or disagreements with friends or colleagues may have started as minor disagreements, but people are unwilling to back down for the sake of so-called "face," fearing being looked down upon, ultimately turning small disagreements into unmanageable disputes, resulting in mutual harm. If we had known how to compromise from the beginning, we could have avoided many troubles later. As the saying goes, "A moment of patience brings calm, a step back opens up a vast sky."     In ancient times, a certain official received a letter from his hometown. Upon opening the letter, it turned out to be a dispute between family members and neighbors. The cause was that the wall separating their two courtyards had collapsed, and both families wanted to claim more land during the reconstruction, refusing to give up an inch. The family wrote to the official, asking him to intervene and persuade the neighbor to back down. Soon, the official's family received the long-awaited reply, containing only a short, humorous poem: "A thousand miles I sent a letter to rebuild the wall, why not give way three feet? The Great Wall still stands, but where is Qin Shi Huang?" The family understood the meaning and voluntarily moved back three feet. The neighbor, not to be outdone, also moved back three feet, creating a six-foot-wide alleyway for the villagers. The villagers later named this alleyway "Six-Foot Alley."     This shows that whether or not we argue about certain things doesn't necessarily affect our lives or even our entire existence. In such cases, we might as well be more generous and yield a little.     Most of the time, getting angry and arguing with others ultimately hurts ourselves. Even if we gain the upper hand in a dispute, what do we ultimately gain? Perhaps the greatest harm comes from the wasted energy, mental strength, and physical effort in arguments. If we can take a step back, we will gain inner peace and the respect of others.     Therefore, whether we argue or not sometimes doesn't necessarily affect our lives or even our entire existence. In such cases, we might as well be more magnanimous and yield a little.     One     day, the famous Russian painter Levitan went to the forest alone to sketch. As he walked along the forest to the edge of a cliff at dawn, he suddenly saw the other side of the cliff illuminated by the rising sun, revealing a beautiful scene he had never seen before. Standing on the cliff, he was moved to tears.     Similarly, the famous German poet Goethe was once moved to tears by Beethoven's symphony. Another Russian writer, Tolstoy, was similarly moved to tears when he heard the second movement of Tchaikovsky's First String Quartet, "Andante Cantabile."     Whether it was Levitan moved by a beautiful scene, or Goethe and Tolstoy moved by touching music, they were all able to sincerely shed tears. Can we still be moved and shed tears like them today?     This question arises because we have become numb to the things in the world that are worthy of our emotions, easily letting them slip by, turning away altogether, or becoming callous due to familiarity. It's not that we can't cry, but rather that our tears are more for our own loss or sorrow, not for others.     To answer this question, we must first ask Levitan, Goethe, and Tolstoy why they were moved by merely an objective scene or a chance piece of music. It's because they possessed a kind and sensitive corner within their hearts. The essence and core of being moved is goodness. Without even a trace of goodness remaining deep within us, being moved is impossible; it will drift away like a dandelion in the wind.     Therefore, kindness is the deep-rooted foundation of emotion within our hearts. Only when kindness resides within can the branches of emotion grow, and the tears shed in gratitude are merely the flowers that blossom from those branches.     In     life, we are grateful that not everything we do will be approved by others, which may cause inner turmoil at the time. However, upon reflection after experiencing it, the trials of time help us gradually mature. At this point, we should thank those who have helped us grow, for they have led us to maturity and wisdom. Learn to be grateful, and you will reap a different kind of life.     Life is full of disappointments, such as setbacks, misunderstandings, and criticism. At the time, we may feel wronged. For a time, that shadow lingers in our hearts, a small, insurmountable obstacle. Only after countless trials of time do we gradually mature and gain wisdom. Then, when you look back, the shadows of the past will be nothing more than a ripple in the long river of life, a wisp of fragrance in the fleeting years.

    Life needs a grateful heart to create it, and a grateful heart needs life to nourish it. Always be grateful, and you'll have no regrets in life. Turn the pages of the calendar, and each new page of life will shine brighter because of our gratitude.

    Be grateful to those who criticize you, for they teach you to think; be grateful to those who trip you up, for they strengthen your will; be grateful to those who abandon you, for they teach you independence; be grateful to those who deceive you, for they broaden your experience; be grateful to those who hurt you, for they temper your will.

    Be grateful to those who help you in times of difficulty, for they strengthen your beliefs; be grateful to those who offer honest advice in times of prosperity, for they help you correct your course; be grateful to those who slander you, for they teach you to correct yourself before correcting others.

    The grass, grateful for the sunshine and rain, withers and flourishes each year before sprouting new green shoots; the eagle, grateful for the blue sky and white clouds, soars high in the clear, cold heavens; the stream, grateful for the majestic mountains, murmurs as it cascades down; the soil, grateful for the vast earth, exudes a refreshing fragrance in the fields. We live in a world of gratitude, grateful for the greatness of life, grateful for the beauty of living, grateful for the teachings of our parents, and grateful for the earnest guidance of our teachers. We are grateful for all the blessings that nature bestows upon life.

    In this mundane world, there are always many restless hearts that complain about the monotony of life and the dullness of days. Thus, amidst the bright lights and bustling crowds, there are more figures drowning their sorrows in alcohol, their numbed hearts unable to conjure up poetic and romantic sentiments, and the beauty of the past replaced by the vicissitudes of life.

    I remember my youthful, carefree days: I marveled at the resilience of life in a blade of grass in spring; I lamented the ruthlessness of time in the shadows of autumn; I could let the summer rain fall freely, just for the quiet fragrance of lilacs in a secluded alley; I could wander through the winter snow all night, just for the sweet scent of plum blossoms in a small courtyard.

    Now, in the reality and busyness of life, my thoughts no longer soar, my sentiments are no longer beautiful. Struggling in this chaotic world, I am weary, my heart weary, too weary to hold even a full moon, too weary to accept a fallen leaf.

    But happiness, in truth, begins in the heart. Let us hold onto these seemingly simple, Zen-like peaces, and become truly joyful and happy people. In the midst of a hurried journey, let

    the sparks of the soul

    occasionally pause, listen to the voice of the heart, and let it feel the cycle of all things and the changing of the seasons in nature; let the heart take a refreshing flight in the mundane world, washing away the dust and grime, restoring a sense of clarity. In such moments, one will discover that what one has been chasing all along is nothing more than fleeting dust that can be easily brushed away.