If marriage comes at a price, how much should be wagered on love?

     One day, my old classmate Li Tao called. It had been a long time since we'd kept in touch after graduation. I only occasionally saw his posts on social media about his upcoming marriage, so I was a little surprised he'd call me at this time.


    He told me he'd broken up with his girlfriend. I was shocked—breaking up right before marriage?

    Li Tao: "I'm planning to buy a house recently. I've found one I like; it's the cheapest and has the fastest handover time. I'm taking out a 500,000 yuan loan, intending to use it as our wedding home."

    Me: "That's great! You can have your own little world after marriage."

    Li Tao: "When we discussed the wedding arrangements, my girlfriend demanded a dowry of 128,000 yuan, and she also insisted the house be fully renovated before we could get married. My parents have saved their entire lives to pay the down payment and the dowry, but they can't afford the renovations.

    " Me: "Then you could discuss it with her, get married first, and then work together to renovate your own little home.

    " Li Tao: "She's been arguing about this for days. She thinks my family is doing this on purpose, wanting to get married first and use her dowry money for renovations. I'm speechless. Is there really no trust in a relationship of several years?"

    Me: "Where's your girlfriend?" Did she say that to you too?

    Li Tao: She said I should listen to my parents in everything, and if I didn't do as they said, it would only prove that I didn't love her enough.

    Li Tao said a lot, but only repeated one topic: no matter how deep the love, it can't compare to money. Should marriage be bought with bargaining chips?

    I feel depressed.

    In Shangrao, a city that's neither too big nor too small, with housing prices neither too high nor too low, and pressure neither too much nor too little, is it easy to fall in love, and is marriage simple? There are many people who have become rich overnight due to land expropriation, who can go to nightclubs every day, drive luxury cars, and freely go to Shangrao Shangmei Plastic Surgery to transform themselves... while some hardworking young people are always stopped at the door of marriage because of housing.

    Many single men and women around me want to find a suitable partner, or rather, a reliable marriage partner. I think they are all excellent. The girls are beautiful and capable, and the boys are kind and responsible, but with so many men and women, the chances of them becoming a couple are so low.

    Dating is easy, but marriage partners are of course not pure. From height to appearance, from education to income, from work to family, from personality and character, everything needs to be understood, and every step needs to be checked. One wrong choice, and lifelong regret.

    So everyone observes with aloofness in their own sphere.

    I don't know when the custom of discussing marriage terms became so rampant. I only know that many years ago, our grandparents might have only needed half a bolt of cloth to make a new dress, and our fathers might have only needed a load of fish and meat to marry our mothers. But in our generation, it's a house, a car, and a dowry. Women want more security, because love is so unreliable these days. Men need more understanding, because societal pressure is so high.

    This society is becoming increasingly restless, making people feel insecure. Focus on the issue, not the person; discuss interests, not feelings. If someone still offers genuine, raw affection at the beginning of a relationship, it always feels a bit abrupt. At most, time reveals true character; extending an olive branch too quickly feels awkward.

    Perhaps we are all too insecure, afraid of being hurt, afraid of being unfaithful, because the world doesn't give us enough confidence.

    So even in love, we dare not challenge it with real force.

    Those about to get married are probably all filled with fear. This is the ultimate transaction of life; if you're not careful, you might lose everything and suffer a terrible defeat.

    Can this love withstand the initial challenges of the realities of housing and cars? That's why you dare not trust, even with seemingly beautiful love.

    It's said that Chinese housing prices are driven up by mothers-in-law. But Chinese mothers-in-law also worry; their only daughter is stepping into a life of hardship. Who knows what her future will be like? Perhaps this shelter from the wind and rain, these tangible material conditions, can offer them some comfort.

    I'm being too absolute; it might scare naive young people. Many families aren't like this.

    But this is basically a reflection of the current marriage market in China.

    We all live alone in a cold, materialistic city.

    Perhaps tomorrow, the sun will rise.

    Perhaps you'll meet some people, some things, that will bring you warmth.

    Until then, let me become a sun, warming myself, warming you.

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